I was accidentally Spirit Filled today… imparted by Patricia King and the Holy Spirit let me know ahead of time!
Though I no longer lived on the Central Coast of California when the conference was to be held, what appealed to me to make the trip and travelling to the conference was that Patricia King was advertised to be there.
Patricia King’s ministry always struck a special chord for me since I rededicated my life to Christ –
You see, it’s tough when you’re raised very non-charismatic and then you want to branch further into the fruits of the spirit. First thing you do is try a charismatic church, then, you see people raising their hands at church, you start to back slowly out the door thinking it was a mistake, tripping over someone slain in the spirit on the way to making your exit, concerned that they’re prone in the aisle; panicked you start to question your sanity until someone sees the wary look and grabs your hand and raises it to the roof too – next thing you know, you’re in lovely fellowship, feeling angels around you in mutual worship.
Given I had a few false starts in getting baptized in the Holy Spirit, making another try with her ministry, a ministry grounded in the movement of the Holy Spirit without coming across like a recent diagnosis from the DSM V (and I say this out of complete love and appreciation of the charismatic movement, but know, that although I believe God moves through the people, I still pray for discernment between what is of God, what is out of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and what is mimicking the best parts of God’s Holy Spirit moving through people but not genuine).
While sitting and waiting for the speakers to rally and the worship team was still doing sound checks, I had the opportunity to speak to a few of the lovely women that were around me ready for the weekend to begin. I was impressed by how many professionals were at this conference and not just the usual “glory chasers” (wonderful charismatic worshipers that fully experience the Holy Spirit beyond what I have been able to comprehend).
The anticipation of the weekend coming weighed on me and the world felt like it was on my shoulders and when worship started I prayed to Dear Father for the first time in what felt like 8 months since I had sometime in the last year lost my ability to pray,
“Dear God, I don’t know what to say, I’m hurt, I’m angry and worst yet, I feel like I can’t pray to you. I’d really appreciate having the gift of Tongues so I don’t have to feel like I need to come up with the words of what to say, I can just have my spirit reach out.”
That’s when I heard Him. “Go up to the front and kneel and pray. You’ll be Blessed.”
“Um, Dear God, no. After the last year, I can’t. I need to pull a Gideon right now; I need proof before I move to the front to be prayed for or blessed.” I argued back with the Lord.
“I’ll let you know when, but you should know, if you are to go now, you’ll be blessed. You’ll know to go up, because there will be an alter call for Patricia King to pray, tonight, and you will know.”
“I’m sorry, Dear God, but I’m still learning to trust You…I can’t go up now, I need to hear it clear as day” Tears finished my prayer and my hands raised into the air, wondering still if I was blessed by hearing His voice or if I was one of those cases I was scared of, imagining conversations with God in my head – after all, Patricia King wasn’t even supposed to speak tonight, let alone pray for me to get any sort of blessing.