Accident 500; August 27, 2015

Diary,

I am accidently learning that emotions need calibration.

As I’m growing in faith, love and patience … a dear friend had the most unfortunate incident of both saying and looking at me at wrong time this week.  Dare I say, a nuclear attack or Jesus returning would have been less surprising for both of us.

The incident occurred over nose hair clippers and my emotional assurance that not only were the nail clippers a sign of a long-term undercurrent of anger on his behalf towards me, but also his absolute disdain for everything that I look like, stand for and my existence in general.  That being said, my reaction seemed only logical to verbally obliterate him from his birth to his future, imminent death.

Looking back, it’s embarrassing how I behaved and what I said.  It took two days in bed, extra sleep, movies, some wine and a good hug to realize that emotions are a powerful tool.  And with all power tools, sometimes they need to be calibrated.

The last few years have offered up quite a dose of stress, pain and fear and an even greater dose of love, forgiveness and blessings.  But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been stretched as a person in every way possible.  I need to remember as I am going forward that faith is an everyday act and on days where I fail, it’s not a failure on me as a person, but a failure to re-calibrate in this new life.

So, with that.  I’m going to grab a glass of my favorite wine, ask some friends to pray (since I am so worn I can’t) and turn my computer off.

I’m going to take a few days to re-calibrate.

Troublemakergood

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